Hard-Learned Love Lessons for Singles in Orange County, CA

We all have a lot to learn about life.  It’s pretty mind-boggling once we stop and analyze our lives.  No one in the world comes out of the womb with a soul mate by their side, although that would be the most magnificent thing in the world, right?  To find our soul mates, we have to do a lot of searching and dating.  We enter new relationships and show people who we are and do the best we can along the way.  But many people find themselves back at square one, again and again.  Although it can be a frustrating and lonely journey, this is where the hard-earned love lessons come into the picture.

Breakups tend to make people do a lot of retrospection of the good times, as well as what they did wrong in the relationship.  But as professional matchmakers, we know there are some hard-earned love lessons everyone learns along the way.  Today, our Irvine matchmakers here at Orange County Singles Dating Service will show you the top hard-earned love lessons singles in OC learn on their dating journey.

1. It’s not okay to be clingy.

It’s not that you want to be a clingy partner, but when you come across someone you absolutely adore and want to spend every second of the day with them, you will come off as clingy.  If you are worried about your partner getting away from you, you’re going to become clingy and make your partner want to leave you.  Being clingy creates a stagnant and unhealthy atmosphere in your relationship.

If you’ve caused a relationship to fail because of your clinginess, it’s a hard lesson to learn and accept.  But take it as a love lesson learned and make it a point to stop being clingy in your dating life.

2. You stay when you know it’s time to call it quits.

Almost everyone has stayed in a relationship when they knew they shouldn’t.  We’re talking about staying past the expiration date.  This might be because you no longer have feelings for your partner but feel bad about breaking up with them, or maybe because the relationship is not supporting your well-being anymore.  Either way, you’re afraid to leave them and stay longer than you should.  A lot of people experience the fear of leaving someone because they can’t imagine there is someone else out there for them, which leads them to stay in an unhealthy relationship.

But as professional matchmakers, we’re going to tell you that if your relationship isn’t fulfilling your needs or is making your life worse, you need to leave it right away.  There is no point in staying in an unhealthy or dead end relationship one day longer.

4. Warning signs are always there.

When a relationship comes to an end, it’s easy to look back and realize there were warning signs all along—signs you chose not to see or just didn’t care to take action.  Generally, you notice warning signs when there is something wrong but don’t want to believe it or try your best to ignore it.  If you were paying attention, even if you didn’t realize it then, you realize it now.

The key is to pay attention from the beginning, and if you notice any warning signs, you must trust your intuition and walk away.  You’ve been there many times before, so the next time you see those warning signs, you know what to do.

5. Getting back with an ex is difficult.

Many singles in Orange County fall prey to an ex’s web, but it’s not the smartest move.  Trying to work it out with an ex is difficult to do.  Some people can work it out successful, but unless there is a lot of love, a good history, and a lot of personal growth and changes made since the last time they dated, it’s not going to work out.

Unfortunately, more often than not, it doesn’t work because they’re the same people they once were, which means they’re going to fall back into the same patterns that caused the relationship to fail the first time around.

One of the hard-learned lessons you learn from dating is that getting back with an ex isn’t the smartest thing to do and usually ends with a broken heart again.  We know the allure of your ex can be quite strong since you know them very well, and you might find them very attractive, but remember that you’ve been down the road before and it didn’t work out for you.

6. No one can fix your life but you.

There are many sayings flooding the internet that no one can fix your life but you, and our Irvine matchmakers know that’s 100% true.  Of course you don’t have to be perfect to find love, and the right person will love you for who you are, flaws and all.  But you shouldn’t be dating just because you want to find someone who can come along and fix your problems.  No, you cannot.

You need to fix yourself and take responsibility for what you do and have done, as well as accept your mistakes and create your own happiness.  The best love you’re ever going to find is the love you have for yourself.  Until you love yourself and your life, you should not be dating.

7. You can’t change people.

It is a hard lesson to learn, but you simply you can’t change people.  You already knew this to some degree, but you continued to hope you could.  Why?  Who knows?  And even if you were even to make them change for a little, they always came back around to what they’ve always been.  You know now that you can’t change people unless they want to change themselves.

Even if you both agree that they need to make changes, the only one who can make them change is them.  Sometimes, expecting too much from people has the opposite effect and ends up pushing them away.  You know now that you can’t make someone ready for a relationship if they’re not.  You can’t stop someone from cheating if that’s what they do.  They need to make life changes for themselves.  You cannot make someone grow up and mature if they’re not ready to do it themselves.

Above are the top seven hard-learned love lessons singles in Orange County encounter on their dating journey.  How many of them have you learned yourself?

If you’re single and looking for love in OC, let our Irvine matchmakers introduce you to relationship-ready singles in Orange County who are compatible with you.  They have also learned these love lessons and are now ready to start a meaningful relationship with someone like you.

Fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE (90 minute) matchmaking consultation with the top dating service in Irvine today!